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Penis factsWelcome to Penis Trivia, Facts and Stats! Ah yes. The feared and admired all mighty bringer of people seeds and pleasure, both pain and delight...the infamous human tool of tools multi-functional device, The Human Penis.

Most are eternally puzzled at how such a small, destorted dispenser of urine can seemingly have such a radical grasp on the balls of society. All questions might be answered on this page, if not, check back soon! We're getting harder!

Scroll all the way down to view a Photo of the largest Cock ever recorded. Prepare to be shocked!

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FYI - Things not recommended to Say to a Man with a Small Penis.

  • Ahh, it's sooooo cute!
  • Stop fingering me and fuck me, already.
  • Perhaps we could just cuddle?
  • Wow, and your feet are so big!
  • My last boyfriend was four inches bigger.
  • Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh!
  • My eight-year-old brother has one just like that.
  • Let me go get my tweezers.
  • This explains your corvette.
  • All right, a treasure hunt!
  • It's like a penis, only smaller?
  • Why is God punishing you?
  • Let's just stick with your hand.
  • But it still actually works, right?
  • I don't suppose there's a dildo around here somewhere?
  • Let me know when you're done.
  • You must so cold, eh?

The Mighty Super Selling Penis!

Commercialized Penises

The Thins Penis: Cos it's not as thick as some
The Magnum Penis: Can you remember your first one?
The Nicole Kidman Penis: To Die For
The Minties Penis: It's moments like these you need...
The Wrigley's Extra Penis: Flavour that lasts and lasts
The Canon Penis: Now you can
The St George Penis: You know where you stand
The Saab Penis: Beyond the conventional
The Sorbent Penis: Thicker and softer
The digital Penis: Whatever it takes
The Hyundai Penis: All day every day
The Peugot Penis: Engineered to be enjoyed
The Pantene Penis: It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.
The M&M Penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand
The Flake Penis: It crumbles and melts in your mouth
The Hungry Jack's Penis: Ooh I love a whopper

Gotta have that flame-grilled beef...
The Olympic Penis: ...and the winner is...
The Twisties Penis: Life's never straight without...
The CC's Penis: Can't say no...
The Just Juice Penis: Just squeeze.
The Woolworths Penis: The fresh food penis.
The Tribble Penis: Everyone wants one.
The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your penis do the walking.
The Sprite Penis: Obey your thirst.
The Hobbit Penis: There and back again.
The Hugh Grant penis: It's just Devine!
The Tolkein penis: Lord of the Rings
The VB Penis: Cos a hard earned thirst needs a big cold...
The Terminator Penis: This time it's personal.
The Space Balls Penis: I see that your schwartz is as big as mine
The Star Wars Penis: Feel the force.
The Raine and Horne Penis: We'll come to you!
The L J Hooker Penis: Nobody does it better.
The Ten Capital News Penis: More people turn us on.
The Toyota Penis: Oh what a feeling
The Mitsubishi Penis: Prease Consider
The BMW Penis: Sheer driving pleasure
The Macintosh Penis: "The power to be your best"
The Optus Penis: "yes"
The Forrest Gump Penis: You never know what you're gonna get.
The Steve Erkel Penis: Did i do that?
The Pizza Hut Penis: Available in both thick and thin.
The Macintosh Penis: All the internal workings are kept hidden. Just click.

Even More Cocky Dick Related Analogies


The Linux Penis: Always upgradable.
The Pentuim Penis: It gives a different result every time.
The CD Penis: Looks pretty in sunlight.
The Transformer Penis: More than meets the eye
The Madam Penis: Won't stay on at parties.
The Kryten Penis: Multi-functional groinal socket...
The (circumsised) KFC penis: spicy & skin free...
The Nemo Penis: Lots of hair....
The Blitzen Penis: It keeps going up and down...
The Rudolf Penis: With a glowing red end.
The Lucs Penis. You don't have to suck. It does it for you.
The ISCA Penis: m or f?
The Spinnaker Penis: Always down when you need it.
The Coke Penis: Always the real thing.
The Far Side Penis: Do you need a reason? :)
The Snickers Penis: Always satisfies.
The Microsoft Penis: Who do you want to blow today?
The Raid Penis: Kills bugs dead.
The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.
The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up.
The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?
The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.
The Nintendo Penis: Now you're playing with power.
The Ruffles Penis: Bet you can't eat just one.
The Roll-Ups Penis: Some kids like their fruit real flat.
The NRMA Penis: For H-E-L-P.
The Libra Penis: Now with wings
The Gilette Penis: The Best a man can get.
The Daewoo Penis: There's nothing you can't do...
The Birch Carroll and Coyle/Hoyts Penis: You want it? You got it!
The BHP Penis: The big Australian
The Lipton's Penis: Everybody's jiggling...
The Adobe Penis: It's everything you imagine.
The Texas Instruments Penis: Extending your reach.
The Hoyts Penis: You can make it BIG in the movies.
The Pioneer Penis: The art of entertainment.
The Advanced Hair Studios Penis: Yeah, Yeah
The Critters II Penis: They'll get you in the end.
The Microsof Penis: Where does it want to go today ??
The VISA Penis: It's everywhere you want to be.
The Snappy Tom Penis: The cats of Australia have made thier choice
The Colgate penis: It really DOES get in.
The MacPenis: mmMmmmMMmm it's Mac time
The Hungry Jack's Penis: have it your way!
Red Rooster Penis: Are you red-red-ready?
The Praise Penis: Nothing tastes creamier!
The RAAF Penis: Reach for the sky!
The Schwarzenegger Penis: It'll be back
The ARL (Australian Rugby League) Penis: Simply the best
The Cheap Hollywood Penis: Free Willy
The Julius Caesar Penis: Vidi, vici, veni. (I saw, I conquered, I came)
The Doors Plus Penis: We fit, stain, and deliver.
The HitchHiker's Penis: Don't panic!
The Fly Buys Penis: The more you buy, the more you...
The Smoo Penis: Always lookin' good
The Madam Penis2: Who needs jeans?
The Napisan Penis: Whiter than white... Can you take the Napisan challenge?
The Private Bin Penis: Go hard or go home!
The Energizer Penis: Just keeps going and going and going
The Domino's Pizza Penis: Fresh and hot and always great!
or: I've got the hots for what's in the box with the dots...
The Pizza Hut Penis: Comes in 30 minutes or it's free
The Transformers Penis: More than meets the eye!
The Ewok Penis: Furry but loveable
The Jean Luc Picard Penis: .....Engage!
The Monty Python Penis: And now for something completely different!
The Queensland Penis: Beautiful one day, perfect the next!
The Star Trek Penis: To boldly go where no one has gone before
The CSR White Sugar Penis: Australia's finest... 100% natural.
The Cadbury's Penis: A glass and a half of full cream...
The Kraft Singles Penis: 900mL in every one...


Picture of the Largest Cock in the World!

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